One of Those Days
by bigtreydawg
Summary: Remy LeBeau at his smoothest. Trapped in an unlucky situation, Gambit deals with the cards he's dealt. Please Review.


Disclaimer: Gambit is all Marvel. But I however, own the rest.  
  
*****  
  
"Okay everyone, this is a robbery. Everybody shut up and get on the ground, now!"  
  
How do I get myself into dees situations.  
  
My name is Remy LeBeau and all I want ta do is buy a Pepsi. Dat's it, I want ta take my pocket chance and purchase a regular can o' original Pepsi. But God has a bounty on my head and dis time it comes in da form of dees three, goofball, convenience store, stick-up guys.  
  
Let me start from da beginning. My ol' friend Lapin was in town and we had a few beers and remembered da good ol' times. On my way back to da mansion, I pull into texaco for some gas. I got a little less then a buck on me so I head to da back o' the small lil' store to get me a soda. Das when I here it.  
  
"Okay everyone, this is a robbery. Everybody shut up and get on the ground, now!"  
  
Welcome ta my life. Dere's four customers in da store, not including me. Behind da register is one frightened, female, clerk. Dees guys are pretty good. All three o' dem are sportin' guns, da leader wid a sawed off shotgun. If de play dere cards right dey could be in and out in no time.  
  
"Joey, go get everyone's wallet."  
  
Oooo. Dat is mistake number one, no names. Mistake number two is prolonging your stay at da scene o da crime. If dere is anything I learn as a thief, it's 'get in and get out' in a hurry. Also the leader could yell a lot less. Nobody is on da ground cause their all scared shitless. Dere are two people in line at da register, there's an old man a few feet ta my left holding a bag a funions and a little boy near da slushy machine.  
  
"Give me some help, Frank. Don't just stand there."  
  
I take what I said earlier back, dees guy's are idiots. Joey and Frank jus set their guns on the counter to get trash bags out o' dere pockets ta collect everyone money and jewels and wat not. If da cashier wasn' so scared she could grab da guns now. Probably best dat she doesn' though, the leader wid da shotgun looks kinda trigger-happy.  
  
I don' know if I should play hero or no. Dere' no money in my wallet and things seem pretty under control.  
  
"You lady, open that register and put the money in the bag!" The leader said pointing his gun at her.  
  
Oooo. Dere's another mistake, I was hoping he wouldn' do dat. The girl was already unraveling enough as it is, the las thing she needed was ta be starin' down the barrel of a shotgun. Meanwhile, idiot number one, Joey I think his name waz, is coming my way.  
  
"What's with the sunglasses at night, punk." He says to me holding out the trash bag for me to put my wallet in.  
  
"Sensitive ta light, mon ami." I say, all of a sudden not really feeling like handing over my wallet to dis idiot. Even though it's empty I can't bring myself to give it to dis goof. The moron even left his gun on the counter. Speaking of which, the counter girl is crying right now. I knew she would. The idiot in front of me has da nerve ta turn around and see what all the commotion is about, he's not even watching me. Dere are so many differen ways I can take dis guy down. Three of which could kill em. But I'm a nice guy, I remind myself.  
  
"Excuse me," I say tapping him on the shoulder. "I don' have any money." He nods and walks over to the old man next ta me.  
  
I have ta get da girl to calm down before she gets everyone killed. I grab my Pepsi and walk over to the register.  
  
"Hey, you there get down!" Frank shouts at me but it don' bother me because da moron left his gun on da counter. However it caused the leader to spin around and point the gun at me. At least his attention was off the girl who was now huddled in a corner behind the desk.  
  
"Take it easy, mon ami," I say holding my hands in the air but still approaching the counter. "Jus wanna purchase my drink." Before he has time to get his act together I lean over the counter. "Excuse me, chere, can you ring me up for dis." I say soothingly trying to calm her down.  
  
"Sure." She lets out weakly, rising to her feet to open the register.  
  
The leader finally pulls himself together and shoves me against the counter. " Hey you get back on the ground!"  
  
I try to bargain wid him to let me buy my one item and get out o' here, while slowly reaching behind me for one of the two guns on the counter. I grab one and hide it behind my back wid out him noticing, to busy yelling in my face from two feet away.  
  
"How much will that be, chere?" I calmly say to her ignoring the man in front of me.  
  
"79 cents." She says taking the Pepsi from my hand and opening the cash register.  
  
As I reach fo' da loose change in my trench coat, idiot leader, tries to grab my arm and stop me from reachin' inta my pocket. Big mistake I grab his wrist and before he can begin ta fathom what happened I turn him around and take the gun that was behin' my back and point it at his head.  
  
"Drop da shotgun, oui." I yell into his ear while twisting his wrist behin' his back. Wid a loud clang I hear da gun drop to da floor. "Excuse me miss can you take dose two guns and put dem somewhere safe, for moi."  
  
She nodded and grabbed the gun on the counter and the other on the floor. "Merci." I thank her and return my attention to the culprits. "You can leave, now." I say to them calmly as they watched stunned, not knowing wat ta do.  
  
"You stupid shits, get this guy off me." Da leader says standing on his toes to take some of the pressure off his wrist. Dey almost seem reluctant as they approach me. I stop dem in their tracks by squeezing a round off inta da ceiling.  
  
"I said get outa here!" I yell at dem now as dey make a run fo' da door leaving dere leader behin' as they drive off.  
  
I let him go and he whirls around ta face me. "Who are you?" He says ta me while back pedaling towards da door.  
  
I charge da hand-gun with my mutant power and my eyes glow behind the rim of my sun glasses. I whirl the gun on my finger before tossing it in the air and letting it explode wid a loud crack. "No one of consequence." I reply before taking my soda from the baffled clerk paying her and walking out da door.  
  
Jus another day, oui. 


End file.
